You can probably guess from my previous posts that I'm not exactly a romantic. But in saying this, I'm not a complete cynic. I do believe that love's a very strong and powerful word and emotion when truly meant and felt. It's something that is always talked about. Either in conversations or songs or movies or dramas or articles. Many people refer to their experiences, other people's experiences and theories about love. My theories aren't that difficult to comprehend and nor are they complete. Especially since it's not something you can be completely sure of. People will always have different theories and views. Just like you and others will all have different views and thoughts on this article; good and bad.
Firstly, I don't believe in love at first sight.I believe in lust at first sight. I don't believe that something as strong and powerful as love can be felt so quickly or easily. I believe you can be physically attracted to someone just by looking at them. However, it takes a lot longer and a lot more to fall in love. At least I hope so. If it's that easy and simple then love's nowhere near as strong or powerful as I imagine it to be.
Secondly, I don't believe in 'the one'. Again, I think it's a bit of a sad thought that there's only one person out there for you. To find that one person out of the thousands of millions and billions of people in the world will be really hard and pretty unlikely. Unless of course, you believe in fate.
I'm undecided about fate because there's no way to prove if it exists or not. So I'm not sure if we're destined to meet certain loves and end up with a certain person. In a way, I'd like to not believe in it. Not because I don't believe in the other theories about love, but because, again, I find the concept a little sad. I'd like to think that I have some say and choice about my life, rather than believing it has already been laid out for me. If I had to believe in fate, I'd prefer the idea that there are several paths for us to choose and the end result is based on our decisions that we make with no other higher factors coming into play. Meaning our lives are the end results of our independent choices that we made from our own free will.
Recently I was told something interesting; a theory I've never heard before. My co-worker was told at church that there's an idea that there are actually 3 or 4 people meant for every person and you're destined to meet them. So you actually have 3 or 4 chances to meet your 'soul mate'.
My friend heard a similar story. Basically there's a girl who goes into a building and she's surprised by what she finds. There are men everywhere. Not only that, but they're all really good-looking men. She goes upstairs and on the next floor there's only good-looking rich men. Again, she's stunned. She can't believe her luck, but she's curious about what's on the next floor. And once again she's surprised. It just keeps getting better and better. Now the floor is filled with good-looking, rich, funny men. It's impossible to imagine an even better circumstance but she can't help but go up again. What does she find? A floor filled with women trying to find the perfect man.
Obviously this is just a story, but I can't help but think that the idea and moral behind the story isn't that far off the mark from reality. It's become a bad habit for people, particularly women, to search for perfection and pick at every pro and con about a person. Again, like the first idea, it's the idea that we have some chances in our lives to meet 'the one'. Whether they are a good-looking person or someone with a combination of good attributes. But as the story highlights, it's whether we choose to take the opportunity we're given or if we give up and try to find someone else; preferably better than the last.
Obviously, in an ideal world, we'd end up with someone perfect. They'd have every good characteristic and quality imagination. However, this is unrealistic. I don't believe in the perfect man or woman. However, this does not mean I condone settling with just anyone either. I don't believe you should be with anyone that you don't genuinely care about or intend to share a future with. But I also don't believe in the perfect man or woman.
I must sound very cynical to keep saying I don't believe in this and that. It's not that I'm cynical. I'm definitely not a romantic, but I don't think you have to be one or the other. Nor do I believe it's realistic to be one or the other. You can take chances and follow your heart even when your head's telling you the opposite, but don't kid yourself in thinking everything will just 'fall into place' and your heart's unbreakable. You'll get hurt and you'll probably get hurt repeatedly. However, if you're going to believe that all there is to relationships is pain and being let down then yeah, you're probably going to have a hard time finding love. If you're waiting and expecting things to fail and you're not going to really try at something, then more than likely that thing will fall apart; because you're not even giving it a chance.
It's hard to find someone who loves you wholeheartedly. To love everything about you. We all want that. So I don't believe you should settle for someone just to be in a relationship. Nor do I think it's O.K for you to settle for someone who loves you more than you love them. That's selfish. Everyone deserves someone that loves them for them. You and other people.
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