Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

I've never written one of these before. I'm not really sure how this works. There's nothing  materialistic that I want really. I'm lucky and have a job and an amazing family, whom I can't be with this Christmas, and have everything that I need. I can live comfortably with what I have. For that I am grateful.

I'm not sure if you grant other wishes. If it is possible then I would like a few things. I'd like to find a career that I want to pursue. I'm not really sure what to do with my life at the moment. I'm not sure what the next step is. All I know is that I will return to England and will try to pursue as many things as possible in order to work out what to do with my life. Whatever that may be.

It would also be nice if some good things could happen to my family, friends and students. I'm not sure how you work out who's been naughty and nice, but I do believe they're all good people at heart. They've made the last 2 years of my life more bearable and amazing than I could have imagined. Without them I probably wouldn't have enjoyed my experience in Korea half as much as I have. They've made me smile and laugh, and given me some great moments to remember for the rest of my life.

Christmas is the time of year when people are a bit more giving and caring than usual. So I would appreciate it if you would be the same and spare time to grant even one of these wishes.

It must be tiresome reading and granting these wishes. But I think you are a good example of what people need to be like. People need to take more time to stop and listen and to do good deeds for other people just for goodness' sake. I've always been a strong believer of this and I'm still striving to achieve this. It's hard because people aren't always good and people don't always seem to deserve good things, but we don't have the right or power to take away happiness. Only to give it, if we choose to. Corny, I know. But I think you can understand what I mean and where I'm coming from.

Merry Christmas! May all of your wishes come true.

When You Like Someone

Some people may think this is pessimistic. I think it's realistic.

It's really hard to find someone you like that likes you back, isn't it? People always complain about how "when you like someone, they don't like you. But thenthen when someone likes you, you don't like them". It's pretty frustrating sometimes. Why can't you meet someone, like them and they like you back? Simple enough isn't it? ... Apparently not.

I'll have to admit that it's been a while since I've really liked someone. I don't mean simply thinking the guy is hot or cute. I mean properly had a crush and wanted to be with that person. Can't stop thinking about them and over-thinking every detail when you're within proximity of that person. That kind of like.

I'm happily single and by no means do I believe that you need to be in a relationship to be happy. But, I have to admit, I do get lonely sometimes. And sometimes I even miss that feeling when you like someone. You know, when you have that strong, over-powering feeling. That makes you behave a bit out of character. Making you strangely happier than usual. It's weirdly nice, like a random burst of energy and inspiration, and you only feel it when you like someone.

It is nice. Usually. However, I also don't miss that feeling. It's nice but weird. You're not acting like you and it's strange to be doing and acting differently without any real reason why. It's a bit surreal. It's also terrifying how much someone, or emotions towards somone, can affect you. It terrifies me anyway.

What terrifies me more, is the aftermath that may or may not occur. I'm not sure which is more terrifying. Picking up the pieces later on or not knowing if you're going to have to pick up the pieces. Especially as it can be a lot of stress and pain. I've hurt and I've seen a lot of people hurt. It's scary.



It's a nice yet conflicting feeling when you like someone. To be honest, I get quite annoyed when I like someone. I know, I know, I'm strange. I can't help it. Luckily, I've only really really liked someone twice in my life. I've never been in love. Which is a good and a bad thing. It's something that's a little depressing but at the same time I definitely don't wish that I had fallen in love with any of the guys from my past. Not in a horrible way, well not completely. It's just that in hindsight, I know it wouldn't have worked with any of them so I have no regrets about it.

So if I've never been in love or had a boyfriend, why am I writing this? Because it doesn't mean I've never liked someone or know about those initial feelings, thoughts or irrationality.



Have you ever liked someone so much that you felt some kind of an obligation to tell them, just because that's how strongly you felt? As if because you like them that much that it was wrong to keep it to yourself and your feelings are that big that they have to know how you feel. It sounds weird. Even writing and thinking about it now, it sounds weird. But even though it's been a while since I've liked someone that much, I remember these feelings and thoughts very well.

I'm not sure if I'm just being strange or not, but that's how I felt. So I've nearly told two guys that I like them. I'm grateful that on neither occasion did I actually tell them. Both would have been complete and utter failures, with a lot of embarrassment and humiliation. Why? Simply put, because I've never liked a guy that has actually liked me back and sadly guys are usually more interested in my friends than me. I'm the girl that's seen as one of the lads or like a little sister (I blame my two older brothers for this). That or they just see me as a piece of meat. Which is highly flattering as you can imagine... This is why I'm kinda thankful that I haven't liked anyone for a while. It's much more safe for me, my feelings and my ego.

It's difficult to not get hurt. Let's face it, we don't all like each other so there's no way we're going to easily fall in and out of love with each other with ease. Unfortunately, it's hard to read people and it's hard to control our emotions. You won't know if they like you. Sometimes we don't even know if we like them. If we can't sort out our own emotions and thoughts, how can we expect others to know? I think this is the biggest reason why it's hard to get a relationship started. Someone has to make the first move but who? When? Where? How?

It's a well-known fact that guys don't understand women and vise versa. Like I've said in a previous post, women are very hard to understand. Women can understand other women, most of the time... But it's nearly impossible for men to understand women. And the same goes for women understanding men. It's hard to know what anyone is thinking or feeling, let alone the opposite sex. This can be unbelievably frustrating when you like someone. Do they like me? Are they flirting with me? Should I make a move? Would that be embarrassing? Will they reject me? Will this lead to utter humiliation? Is it worth it? ...

Yeah, it's pretty hard to meet someone and for things to just fall into place huh?

Why?

Without meaning to sound corny, it's probably because life's not that easy and love isn't a small thing.  If it was simple to keep falling in and out of love then it wouldn't be that special. We'd also be screwed. The amount of times people go in and out of relationships is already pretty high. So could you imagine if you easily slipped in  and out of relationships just by meeting someone ... I don't think my head or heart could handle it. I'd be acting bipolar. High on love then low on heartbreak, high, low, high, low.... That wouldn't be fun or funny.

So how about making it a little easier? If you really like someone and you don't want them to pass you by, you tell them you like them? I'm not saying you should put yourself out there to every Tom, Dick and Harry. Just the ones you want to take a chance on because there's some potential.

Here in Korea, Christmas is a couple's holiday. You spend time with your other half and see friends rather than families. So how about telling your potential partner that you like them? Maybe something might bloom, ready for the new year.

Everyone likes to know they're loved and wanted. Take a chance and make someone's day.