How fit are you?

What comes to mind when you say "fit"?

For most people, it's related to health and fitness. In England, it can mean that or it can mean 'hot'. So it can describe somebody's physique internally and externally.

Here's my next question: Are you fit? In either meaning. Or possibly a better question, do people regard you as fit?

And here's my last question: Can you be both fit and fit? Do you have to be healthy to be regarded as hot? Or can you be one and not necessarily the other?

The questions seem pretty random huh? Well I'm hoping these questions are making you think.

Here's my issue: a lot of people seem to put their appearance before their health. Some people seem to be under the impression that it's O.K. to disregard their health because looking good is supposedly more important. People also seem to assume that being thin automatically makes you beautiful. I have one word in response to these views: BULLSHIT. (Excuse my French).

Your health should be one of the most important things. How does it make sense for it to not be important? I don't understand how your looks could be more important than your health. And to be honest, usually when you're sacrificing your health for your appearance it doesn't lead to you looking that great on the outside. If your body's suffering then your whole body is suffering; internally and externally.

Also, there are plenty of people that are skinny that aren't pretty. This is going to sound very harsh, but sometimes when you're ugly, you're just ugly and it has nothing to do with your weight. There's probably another way to make yourself look prettier. Something that will amplify your good points. Just like how certain styles of clothing helps to hide some things, it also highlights other things. This is definitely something every girl knows and finds out. Once you find out what works well with your body then you're on your way to helping to boost your confidence and feeling less insecure. This is also the same for makeup. Remember, your looks and your weight aren't always related to each other. They don't always god hand-in-hand.

Even people that thousands classify as 'drop dead gorgeous' has body complexes. Yes, celebrities like Beyonce and Scarlett Johansson have insecurities.  Surprised? Why? Because they're famous? Are they not allowed to have insecurities too? They're human. They might be famous and we might put them on a pedestal but even they can't love everything about themselves.

This reminds me of a scene. It's annoying because I can't remember what movie or drama it's from, and Google isn't helping me either. But I distinctively remember a scene where a girl writes  all of her insecurities on a mirror. She writes and draws like how a surgeon draws over their patients before plastic surgery. And another character finds the girl in front of the mirror and is stunned by what she's written. Like, "how could you think those things?" It's sad but we all think horrible and negative things about ourselves right? We never see ourselves the way other people do. Whether it's when you're directly looking at yourself in the mirror or just reflecting back on yourself as a person.

I kind of hate who I'm quoting here, but I'm not going to deny that it's a great quote.

Yes it's natural and normal to have insecurities, but you should never ever think so strongly that you let it rule your life. You shouldn't focus purely on your weaknesses or insecurities. That will just amplify your negative thoughts and you'll be stuck in a vicious cycle. I've been there. It's not worth it.

Those thoughts shouldn't rule our world. If you're really upset about it, then do something about it. Whether that's losing weight, dying your hair, changing your fashion, getting surgery or whatever. If that's what you really want. If that's what it takes for you to be happy and a bit more confident. But never, ever let it change you to become more insecure or become so obsessed that you lose all logic. Choosing to starve yourself or go to extreme lengths to achieve your goal. If you disregard your own health or finances then it's a very big and clear sign that you have a problem. A problem that can not be solved by dieting or surgery or whatever. It's a problem that you need to sort out by strengthening your own mental mind-set.

If you're going to assume that this is easy for me to say all of this because I'm thin or because I don't feel a need to wear makeup or anything, then you haven't taken in anything I've written and you're also one of those people that reinforces all of the things that I've said is wrong with people and their perception of the what's 'beautiful'. I can't help that I'm thin. I've always been naturally thin. Make-up doesn't make me look much different. It can't enhance beauty that's not there so I don't bother. I have a lot of insecurities. I have never thought much of myself.

The bottom-line for me is this: If everyone's meant to be pretty, then everyone's meant to be average looking. If everyone's on the same scale then that's the norm. There's nothing wrong with looking average, and there's nothing wrong with having body insecurities. That's also normal. One thing that I accepted a long time ago was that no matter what I changed or tried to improve about myself, I'd never going to be happy. 

There's always going to be something else you wish was better. You can say "I'd be happy as long as ........... was different / bigger / smaller / slimmer / better ...." But let's face it, that's a lie isn't it? As soon as you reach your goal weight or get surgery or change something there's going to be something else you wish was different. That's why I gave up trying to change mys outer-appearance a long time ago. And I just think that if I get a boyfriend then he's going to have to deal with the fact that I won't always make an effort to look nice and the way I naturally look. No girl, that I know of anyway, can be bothered to make an effort to look nice every minute of every hour. I definitely can't. I'm too lazy.

I'm not going to be with a guy that wants me to look nice all of the time. He'll have to see me when I look crap, just woken up, when I'm sick, crying and whatever. So I just think he should get used to the way I look. If he doesn't like how I look then sure it's a shame but if I'm not willing to make the effort for myself I won't make a constant effort just to impress him.

Just remember, you're only human and we all have flaws; some that other people see and accept or not, and those that only you see and take notice of. Don't automatically assume being skinny makes you beautiful. It doesn't. Don't go O.T.T. to try to look beautiful. It's not worth it.

(By the way, if anyone could possibly tell me what movie or drama I wrote about that would be awesome. It's starting to annoy me a bit ...)

Give Credit Where Credit Is Due

I was told something interesting in a Career Enhancement lesson. "If you're good at something, say it. Be proud that you're good at it and don't be afraid to say so! Why are you automatically labelled as cocky for being honest and saying you're good at it? You're not being cocky, you're stating a fact. You ARE good at it. So what's the problem?" It kind of blew my mind a little because it's very true and makes sense, and it's kind of obvious, yet we don't think like this. Why? There's nothing wrong with accepting and knowing that you're good at something.

We condemn people for gloating. We complain when people are modest ... We make it so you can't win. If you are genuinely good at something, why can't you say so?

Being arrogant is when you think too highly of yourself and are over-confident. So what's wrong with admitting what your strengths are? We make it hard for ourselves.

In interviews you're supposed to 'sell yourself'. We worry about how we 'come-across' and carefully word our sentences, carefully pick out our outfit, are self-conscious about our body-language and our surroundings. We stress ourselves out over making ourselves seem right for the job. We can't be arrogant or too confident, but we can't be the opposite either. We have to try to seem perfect without being excessive. You need skills and good traits, but we can't gloat about them. This is the fatal flaw that we've made for ourselves. We've made it so difficult for us to sell ourselves, even though that's what you're supposed to do, even when we might be perfect for the job.

Why is it that we're quite happy to point out our and other people's flaws but never give credit where credit is due? We won't happily admit if we're clever or good at something, if we're pretty or have anything exceptional. Not aloud and usually not to ourselves either.

There's nothing wrong with admitting what's good about yourself. You've got to take the good with the bad. That doesn't just mean accepting all of your faults. It includes accepting what's good too. What's good about being hard on yourself if you're not going to let yourself enjoy your own accomplishments?

I'm pretty hard on myself but I've learnt to accept that I have some good qualities too. It's not me being arrogant. I always have to emphasise that I'm not being arrogant or cocky when I admit I'm good at something. And people always respond "You're not being arrogant. You're just stating facts." Which is true.

So, if you're going to state facts then state all of them. Don't just own up to the bad ones. The good thing about facts and stats are that they're real and true, and we can also arrange them how we want. We can make them say what we want them to. We can highlight certain things. Emphasising the good things. We can make things sound better than they are. We can sell ourselves without lying.

Lay out the facts and see and arrange them to how you see fit. Just don't leave out the good stuff. Knowledge is power. When you know and accept everything about yourself then you'll be able to grow a lot more. I have.