Give Credit Where Credit Is Due

I was told something interesting in a Career Enhancement lesson. "If you're good at something, say it. Be proud that you're good at it and don't be afraid to say so! Why are you automatically labelled as cocky for being honest and saying you're good at it? You're not being cocky, you're stating a fact. You ARE good at it. So what's the problem?" It kind of blew my mind a little because it's very true and makes sense, and it's kind of obvious, yet we don't think like this. Why? There's nothing wrong with accepting and knowing that you're good at something.

We condemn people for gloating. We complain when people are modest ... We make it so you can't win. If you are genuinely good at something, why can't you say so?

Being arrogant is when you think too highly of yourself and are over-confident. So what's wrong with admitting what your strengths are? We make it hard for ourselves.

In interviews you're supposed to 'sell yourself'. We worry about how we 'come-across' and carefully word our sentences, carefully pick out our outfit, are self-conscious about our body-language and our surroundings. We stress ourselves out over making ourselves seem right for the job. We can't be arrogant or too confident, but we can't be the opposite either. We have to try to seem perfect without being excessive. You need skills and good traits, but we can't gloat about them. This is the fatal flaw that we've made for ourselves. We've made it so difficult for us to sell ourselves, even though that's what you're supposed to do, even when we might be perfect for the job.

Why is it that we're quite happy to point out our and other people's flaws but never give credit where credit is due? We won't happily admit if we're clever or good at something, if we're pretty or have anything exceptional. Not aloud and usually not to ourselves either.

There's nothing wrong with admitting what's good about yourself. You've got to take the good with the bad. That doesn't just mean accepting all of your faults. It includes accepting what's good too. What's good about being hard on yourself if you're not going to let yourself enjoy your own accomplishments?

I'm pretty hard on myself but I've learnt to accept that I have some good qualities too. It's not me being arrogant. I always have to emphasise that I'm not being arrogant or cocky when I admit I'm good at something. And people always respond "You're not being arrogant. You're just stating facts." Which is true.

So, if you're going to state facts then state all of them. Don't just own up to the bad ones. The good thing about facts and stats are that they're real and true, and we can also arrange them how we want. We can make them say what we want them to. We can highlight certain things. Emphasising the good things. We can make things sound better than they are. We can sell ourselves without lying.

Lay out the facts and see and arrange them to how you see fit. Just don't leave out the good stuff. Knowledge is power. When you know and accept everything about yourself then you'll be able to grow a lot more. I have.